Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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