dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
