I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
accomplished twins. life is a go
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
