the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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