would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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