You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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