you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm too high and old for this...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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