Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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