yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
