ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
