You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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