Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
