Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
