That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
