For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
