Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You took a bar mat shot.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize