You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
