so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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