I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
