why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
