i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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