So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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