Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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