why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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