i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
