It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
