Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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