I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
