I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
