Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize