I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
