Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
