I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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