I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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