It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So vagazzling was a success
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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