I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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