At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize