I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
