i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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