I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
barbara walters just said penis...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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