bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
