Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
