I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
