Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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