Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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