Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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