its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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