real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
