i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
