You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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