He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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