Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
