Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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