So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize