used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
