Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
