these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
