I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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