there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
