omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
