but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
