I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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