Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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