Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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