the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
third nipple confirmed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
