im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
