you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
