am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
