hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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