but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
