How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just google imaged poop.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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