Christians are straight up FREAKS
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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